My oldest daughter is a college freshman. She is a talented writer and today, sent me her first writing assignment for her English class. She was asked to write about herself and took what I found to be a clever and humorous approach; she compared herself to the description of her Zodiac Sign. It was a fun paper to read and I commended her on her playful yet insightful writing. I then Googled my own Zodiac Sign; Scorpio.

I’ll start by saying I remain a committed skeptic, but what I read stunned and shocked me. Without question the description of this complicated, intense, moody and contradictory personality was me. I know what you’re thinking. They all read that way. They’re designed to fit everyone. I tested that theory by reading several others; Aries, Gemini, Leo, Virgo. Not me, not even close. I studied the Scorpion more closely.

I’ve never been a social person, in fact as I’ve written about before, I’ve suffered from social anxiety most of my life. I still do to be quite honest, preferring to be alone or with very close friends or family. I don’t like going to parties or crowded places. In fact, I don’t like going anywhere new.

I have few friends and always have. I find relationships complicated and difficult. I am frequently moody and others don’t understand my behavior, questioning me, getting frustrated or upset with me which increases my moodiness. I’ve always struggled with forgive and forget. I’ve gotten better at the forgive part, but forgetting is not an option.

I am often upset or frustrated with myself for my behavior, my actions or sometimes just my thoughts. I argue with myself and berate myself for doing so. It’s very active in my head. I have no use for light, airy and fluffy relationships and interactions. I am either passionate about something or someone or I’m disinterested. Recently, I had a full-scale engagement going on in my brain. The level of activity was so intense I felt it must clearly show on my face. I went to the restroom with my brain a beehive of activity. I looked in the mirror and realized there was nothing going on. It was quiet and I looked exactly the way I always look. I was able to clear my mind and return to what I had been doing.

I reflected back on some of the most intense relationships in my life and immediately went to check the compatibility of these people with my newly found insight from my Zodiac Sign. I am not easy to have a relationship with, I’ll give you that. But some of these relationships were doomed from the start! If only I’d known then what I just learned today. I could have saved us all a lot of pain and anguish.

I’ve been married for over 20 years to an Aries woman. Our relationship has always been one of compromise which is the only way we can survive. We each bring something to the table the other lacks, but we’re both controlling. She is the social one, the energetic and vibrant one. When we were younger, this led to many issues as I have an intensely jealous nature and did not appreciate the attention she drew. The only reason this didn’t derail us is that she honestly never sought attention. She is not flirtatious, she just draws others in. We’ve worked through these issues over the years, though I still don’t like seeing her giving other men more than a tiny bit of attention. If I think back to the biggest challenges we’ve faced over two decades, they were about control issues combined with my quick anger and inability to let go. This again is reflected in our compatibility charts.

I focused a lot on the negative as I read about my Scorpio self. There are many positive aspects of my personality as well, and they were also reflected in the description of people born in the astrological eighth house. I am extremely loyal and honest. I may get moody and silent for a while, but I will eventually tell you what’s on my mind and you will know where you stand with me. I am ambitious, determined, persistent and willing to work for what I want and need. I love to help people and am always happy to share what I know. If we’re really friends, you’ll know it.

I have learned a lot about myself today. I have more insight into my nature and perhaps can be a little easier on myself knowing this is just how I am. I know one thing for certain; I will absolutely check compatibility charts before I venture into any relationship in the future! The old cliché now rings truer than ever for me “So, what’s your sign?”

• The most compatible matches for Scorpio men are Cancer, Pisces, Capricorn, Taurus and Virgo. With a little more effort and compromise, Scorpio males are also a compatible match with Aries, Leo, Scorpio and Aquarius. Scorpio men have the least compatible match with Gemini, Sagittarius and Libra.