The rocker and former Van Halen singer has revealed to fans and the general public that he was abducted by aliens. We haven’t heard about a good abduction in a while, so I thought I’d comment on this fabulous tale of contact with life from other worlds.

Sammy states that two creatures inside a ship were connected to him wirelessly, plugged into him in a “download situation.” He believes they either downloaded something into his brain, or uploaded something from it. He goes on about other encounters but they’re not as cool as the Wi-Fi alien download.

What are to we to make of his claims? Well, if we cared to know the truth of them, we’d ask for evidence. “Sammy, what can you give us as proof of this encounter?” Because Sammy’s claims are rather extraordinary, we might ask for some extraordinary evidence. For example to support his claim that something was downloaded into his brain, we might ask him to divulge some previously unknown stellar information. Perhaps an advanced mathematical equation used by the aliens to conquer traveling across the vastness of space. If he can’t provide it, we should eliminate that possibility from his tale. Repeat the steps with his other claims. If he comes up empty, with nothing but his story to go on, you’d be perfectly within your rights to call bullshit. In fact, you should.

You could take it further and try to logically deduce the possibility or probability of his story being true. For alien life forms to arrive on Earth, they must be a very advanced technological species. One would have to assume they’ve conquered the speed of light, as even coming from within our own galaxy could take tens of thousands of years traveling at the speed of light. The Milky Way is 100,000 light years across! So why would a species this advanced, invest the kind of time, resources and energy into coming to Earth to plug into Sammy Hagar’s brain with their Wi-Fi brain connection devices?

Claims like these are no different than claims of ESP, lucky Rabbit’s Feet or giving someone the Evil Eye. It is meaningless nonsense unless there is evidence. Without something testable, verifiable, repeatable and observable, it’s nothing more than superstitious idiocy. Why someone would claim to be abducted by aliens is anyone’s guess. Attention I imagine, or selling a book or two, or maybe to get me to write about him. I wish I had something nicer to say Sammy. I never cared for your sappy lyrics either.